Lock-in.

Everything hurts.


My fingers, my eyelids, and everything in between.


That... 'May of Troy' is mean.

When any of us tried to make a move, she'd beat us with her purse.

Eventually, I went too far.

We all suffered.

Gregroy had to come rescue us.

QUite embarassing.

I prefer Chia.

I should steal her numbner from Erik and call her up.

Yes, I should...

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate the late Olaf the Bald.

New Viking.

Gregory came into our bunkhouse today to talk to the five of us (that's Erik the Red, Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe, George the Yellow, Phil the Conceited, and me) because he has been so far unimpressed with our behavior since the Battle with the Urgur.

"I know Olaf was the comic relief of you guys," he said. "But watching you with my secret cameras has just gotten boring. All you do is sit around."

"And?" I asked grumpily, sensing some sort of Madcap hijinks.

"I want you guys to have some madcap Hijinks," he said, shoving a very beautiful girl into the room.

She wasn't half as pretty as Chia the Mace (the one I made out with), but Chia is perfectly perfect, so that means this new girl was mighty fine on a normal scale.

"Her name is May of Troy, and I'm locking you all in here with her for three days."

With that, Gregory the Hairy slammed the door shut.

We heard a visible click.

"yaaaaaaay..." I moaned.

TO be continued...

On the ship.

Gregory the Hairy asked me to take Olaf's position as the official ship's blogger.

So I accepted.

George the Yellow and Phil the Conceited got into a fight today.

Phil yelled, "All you do is think of yourself, George!"

George responded, "Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what?"

"Yeah, you think you're brave and tough and mean!"

"N-n-no I don't!"

"And everybody hates you!"

"No, I don't," Erik the Noisy said.

"Me neither," Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe said.

"I think you think George is you," I said.

Phil realized his mistake, but, true to character, refused to admit he was wrong.

"I mean, his name even suggests of stuck-up stubbornness," Phil said.

"His name is 'Yellow.' That means a frightened coward. Your name is Conceited. That means being full of stuck-up stubbornness," Soren said.

Phil then smashed the boat with his headrest in anger, then told Gregory that it wasn't his fault, but ours.

I don't like building new ships with only two other people helping.

Darn that Phil.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I'm starting to hate Phil the Conceited, and I hate the late Olaf the Bald.

In memory.

I no longer have someone to hate.


Olaf has been gone for forty-eight days without return.


You'd think I'd be happy, but... I'm not.


I know what you're thinking: 'Now that Olaf's gone, you realize you no longer have a purpose.'


Nope.


I'm thinking, 'I'm not the one who got to kill him.'


This is sad for me.


Soren told me that the last of the blog posts he wrote ended yesterday, so I suppose its my turn to explain what I was thinking that fateful day when I made out with Chia.

Even though I hate Olaf, I mus admit he has good taste in women.

Chia is HAWT.

And when she started crying about how Olaf was gone... and how she wanted a celebration kiss... I panicked.

Well, I didn't really panic, I just followed an urge.

Strongly.

We all think Olaf's dead now, anyway.

He would have figured out some way to find a laptop and blog about where he is.

He always does that.

And since he hasn't ...

Well, I assume the best.

Since Soren's Story is done, the entire crew of the Bloodhound III vowed to no longer read Olaf's blog, as that would be a disgrace to his person.

I never read that trash anyway.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate the late Olaf the Bald.

Technically.

Technically, there has been One Hundred and Seventy-Two Blog posts, since, of course, Olaf's site is my sister site.

Actually, he calls MY site the sister site, but he's stupid.

And what sort of foul-mouthed freak makes a song about specail eduaction after talking to ME?

Seriously?

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Ew.

I woke up relatively early today and decided to attempt to kill Olaf.

I snuck up to his room.

I could hear typing.

I slowly opened the door.

Olaf was sitting at his Laptop, typing up yet another one of his blog posts.

Completely naked.

Never again will I wake up early and try to kill Olaf.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Stupid other people.

Gregory the Hairy yelled at me today because over the last week, I didn't blog the numbers of how many ninas I killed, I just complained about Olaf.

He said the digression was intolerable.

Stupid Olaf for following the rules.

One day, Olaf... one day....

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Archmages.

Amazing.

I killed two archmages today.

I didn't know that was possible.

I hate Olaf less now, since he was the one who let me get the more kills.

Wait, he's snoring.

The hatred is back.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Refusals.

Today, I refused to move.

Olaf decided, stilll thinking that we're friends, to wait with me.

It was a long wait.

So, nothing happened today.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Even more fails.

Failed attempts to kill Olaf: 4587.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

More fails.

Failed attempts to kill Olaf: 34.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I REALLY hate Olaf the Bald.

Bonfire.

If you've noticed, Olaf has been talking about in his blog how I've been doing worse on the Ninja killings than he has.

This is because I'm trying to kill HIM, not Ninjas.

Ninjas can wait.

Today, however, I decided to try something.

After killing an incredibly large amount of Ninjas, I piled them all up and started a bonfire.

"Whatcha doing?" Olaf asked in an attempt to quote his favorite TV show.

"Burning Ninja bodies.

Check it out," I said.

Olaf stepped right next to the bonfire and sniffed.

I reached out to push him in.

He jumped backward and yelled, "WHEW!

BURNING DEAD NINJAS STINK!"

He had jumped backward into me.

I fell and landed on a rock.

I woke up a few hours later.

All the ninjas were burned away.

Olaf had once again inadvertantly ruined my plot to kill him.

I hate him.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

ARGH.

Failed Attempts to kill Olaf the Bald: 707.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Failed again.

Failed attempts to kill Olaf: 45.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Me and Olaf, alone in the UK.

Olaf and I are going to the UK, alone.

This is the perfect opportunity to kill him.

Except....

This:

My Talley for today:

Failed attempts to kill Olaf today: 23.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

ketchup.

Apparently, Olaf glues ketchup packets to his back hair.

Why?

His stupidity makes me hate him even more.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Phil the Conceited.

Phil ruined my plan.

He was supposed to distract Olaf while I killed him.

Nope.

Too concerned about himself.

Then Olaf hit me in the face.

Twice.

I would hate Phil now, too, if the hate side of my brain wasn't completely taken over with hatred for Olaf.

I'll try again tomorrow.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Is my quest pointless?

Why?

Why?

It turns out, Olaf didn't die.

I found him trying some stupid plan of his to wrap hisself in a tortilla shell and kill people as they tried to eat him.

I was trying to stab him inside the shell when Thor rose up out of the water, zapped me for trying to kill Olaf, and disappeared.

Thor said something about how Olaf can't die.

How he has some great destiny to accomplish.

This explains a lot to me.

Why Olaf hasn't died despite overwhelming odds.

Why my plans to kill him alwasy fail.

Why the Laotogo didn't kill him.

But I must kill him.

No matter if it is not supposed to happen.

I hate him too much to let him live.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

Sizzle.

I have failed.

Some Ninja dude killed Olaf.

My years of hating and planning and everything else, and he's not even killed by me.

I chased that stupid ninja and gored him to death.

There's no point in living if there is no Olaf to Hate.

Then again, there is cake.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate the late Olaf the Bald.

My Hawaii Plan.

Read Olaf's blog, vikingranting.blogspot.com , in order to figure out what competition I'm talking about.

Even though all Vikings have a truce not to kill each other, who's going to notice or care if one VIkings is accidentally killed by another?

That's right.

I'm going to kill Olaf sometime during this competition.

Heh heh heh.

My nam is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

I hate Lulu now, too.

Lulu the Loud gets on my nerves.

Not only is she hooking that stupid Olaf the Bald up with Selena the Foreign, she smashed my face in with that stupid mace of hers!

Selena is awesome!

She's the love of my life!

I've been trying to get with her since I first saw her twenty years ago!

I even stalked her during my years at CVU!

I HATE OLAF SO MUCH!

He didn't even appreciate what Lulu was trying to do for him!

ARGH!

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Crap.

OLAF IS NOT FREAKING DEAD!

My plan was foolproof!

According to his own testimony, he nearly got eaten by 'Dolphins', which were obviously really sharks, could have been destroyed by a giant monkey, which are actually quite common nowadays, and could have been killed by a Kraken, but he didn't!

I've watched him survive thing after thing that would have killed anyone else, but he always comes through with a smile on his face.

Olaf always claims it's because he's the main character, and main characters don't die.

I think somone up there likes him too much.

I hate him.

My name is Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

I'm the one who killed the Navigation systems.

I was the one who gave him a messed up way of navigating.

I'm so brilliant.

Soon my plan of killing him will be complete!

I'm so happy.

I am Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

My plan.

Heh.

If you've read Olaf's post for today, you've heard how he's travelling in a bucket across the Atlantic to see if its more effective.

I told him that I am an agent of the VIA, Vikings in Awesomeness, lead by our Viking leader, Lief the Armless, and that we want him to complete the mission because he is the best viking ever.

There is no such thing as the VIA.

Lief never contacted me.

Olaf is not the best viking ever.

This is my plan to kill Olaf.

He'll soon be killed by the Laotogo, washed over by a wave, or some other good thing.

I'm so happy.

I'm Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.

Hello.

My name is Omar the Bold.

I hate Olaf the Bald.

I am a Viking, who works on the same ship as Olaf.

He bugs me to no end.

There are too many reasons to tell you why he bugs me.

Just know that he does.

Up until now, I have hacked into his blog, which address is http://vikingranting.blogspot.com , and posted bolded texts right into his posts, patronizing and insulting him.

How come he does not notice?

He is so stupid, all I have to do is tell him Thor writes in his posts things he is too good to read.

Wow.

I'm going to stop doing that, however, since this blog will simply be a running commentary om his.

I even have a promise from him never to read this one.

If you want to know why he promised that, you should read his blog on Monday.

This blog is one to rival his, one that will describe how much of a loser he is and how much I hate him.

I am not going to post every day, since I'm not a loser like he is, but I will post when I read something in one of his blogs that I need to clarify.

Thank you.

I am Omar the Bold, and I hate Olaf the Bald.